mom came into the room today while i was studying, pulled off my earphones, and pushed my head. started scolding me for ponning japanese today. i guess she didn't know that i would do that, of all things, when i've always told her that i'm serious about that subject. she was disappointed, not only her, but me as well. i was disappointed in myself, cause i had skipped my japanese lessons to come home to sleep, get enough rest, and study tonight.

jimmy didn't go for japanese today. and i don't want to be left alone with some two sick gay asses who like put down every single idea and suggestion i come up with for the project. those two childish immature guys need to grow up, and working with them is so tough, it's because i'm tired out during the day already and further more with my low tolerance level, i don't think i can get anything done with them.

but seriously, is it all worth it? i mean, skipping lessons because i didn't have time to study for tests is no excuse, and it's a fault on my part. i shouldn't be staying up late to 'study', then get distracted and half way through, give up. i should have focussed more, paid more attention, so that i can manage my time well.

come to think of it. it was a lame excuse to come up with today. but i really was drained. it doesn't help if i go all the way to bishan and start to sleep through the lessons there too. but i think, this is the last straw, and i seriously need to wake up. I HAVE THIS LIKE FUCKING HORRIBLE ATTITUDE PROBLEM. like how i always live my life by following my heart than my head. how i always do things that i WANT to do and FEEL like doing. i admit that i'm pretty slack and like things to go at a very laid-back pace, but sometimes, i think that i shouldn't make such childish decisions. if i really want to do well, there's a price i have to pay. but ever since this year it's all been going downhill for me. i want to show people that i can last out longer than them, cope with it all and produce good marks, yet somehow i'm not doing the right thing.

it has always been a challenge to me. so i guess from now onwards, ima try to wake up, focus during the lessons no matter how much i dislike the teacher, dislike the class, and how lessons are just so boring. i shall stop letting people distract me by talking to me, and really study. if i have to be a geek to get my standard back, then i will put in the extra effort.

the latest test results was already disappointing to me, and the way i keep skipping japanese lessons whenever i feel like it, and think that 'it's okay i can study later and understand on my own' is just wrong. i just wasted it all. yes, charlene has bad attitude, is lazy, doesn't really care when she's not in the right mood, and yadayada. HAVE. TO. STOP. ALL. THIS.

i have to buck up.

and i dont like seeing my house so empty and having so many cardboard boxes lying around in the house. i'm not comfortable with it.

{ C }
the kind of girl who mopes around about stuff ALOT
& somedays on mute mode

A LEFT-HANDER WHO FEEDS ON JROCK :D

Is a caffeine addict, & doesn't mind giving up talking for good. With not much self-confidence to start with, her ugly teeth upset her a lot but she plans to do nothing about it. Cheap thrills include rainy days, graphic designing, writing & a little dosage of her jrock darlings. Can conjure up some really good shit in her mind sometimes, but has problems putting them onto paper and into reality. Overall an average kid who's neither here nor there in everything she does, & gets bothered by it sometimes. Has trouble finding her direction in life. Mostly negative and wishes to be more apathetic. Currently finding a way to start a new life in Japan, with a different name.

Still likes to talk to inanimate things like her stuffed penguin.

♥REITA,
just because.

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